My husband, Neil, and I have been married for 11 years.  Our marriage is like most healthy marriages in so many ways.  We are very different people, and like most of our married friends, there is a balance between us.  While my husband has certain things he does that drive me batty, there are times I drive him nuts too.  Let me give you some examples:  I am a creative slob, he likes things very tidy.  I go with the flow and half the time don’t remember (or care) where that flow is headed, he loves the calendar and planning and knowing what to expect.  See how that works? Balance.  There’s some health in those differences.  I need his predictability, and I tell myself he needs my free spirit

But, our marriage has some big differences, too.  Neil provides a stability for me that most wives don’t need.  It took a ton of patience on his part to get both of us to a healthy place. When we first got married I nearly went off the edge.  Intimacy was nearly impossible, I was angry with no reason that I was aware of.  He got the brunt of the chaos that was unleashed in my mind, and, for a guy that likes things neat and tidy, I seriously rocked his world.  Physically ill, I could not drive because I passed out multiple times a day.  I couldn’t work, take myself to the Dr, go to the store.  Cooking or cleaning was a challenge because I never knew when I would black out.  He was taking care of me, our house, adjusting to the usual changes marriage brings, and working full time.  Yet he never wavered.

He is an amazing guy.   And he is not perfect.

He is a man of prayer who loves Jesus and knows that he needs God.  We would not be here 11 years later if he did not have God to hold him.  Had he given up on me, I probably would not have had the courage to heal.

He is my anchor.  His roots are deep in God’s grace and when fear or memory or whatever other emotion overcomes me he is firmly planted so that we are not swept away.  Oh, I have my own relationship with God, and it is of utmost importance.  But one of the ways God has held me and kept me safe is through Neil.  He is the physical manifestation of Gods love.

So, those times when he’s driving me batty I try to remember how far we’ve come together.  We have walked every recovered memory, every trip to the hospital, every joy and sorrow together.  He may not be perfect.

 But he is my anchor.